TOUCH IN RETURN DURING A TANTRIC MASSAGE

In the past—especially in the early days of my practice—clients often asked me whether they were allowed to touch me during a massage. These days, such questions are rare—most likely because my energetic boundaries are now clearly established. Still, I feel this topic deserves space and clarity, especially for anyone who has ever wondered about it. So let me share how we approach this in our salon.

In general, professional tantric massage is based on the principle that touch flows from the practitioner to the client, not the other way around. The client receives touch and energy but does not touch the practitioner—neither actively nor passively. This is a key boundary that distinguishes tantric massage from other types of intimate interaction.

Why is this important?

- It creates a safe, trusting, and healing space in which you can fully relax, surrender, and experience touch without any pressure to reciprocate. This can be especially challenging for men, who are often naturally inclined to give to women.

- Massage, however, is guided by intention—an intention rooted in giving (by the practitioner) and receiving (by the client), rather than mutual exchange, as in romantic intimacy. Conscious touch is a powerful tool—but only when guided by clear intent and mutual respect.

- Ethics and Professionalism. Clear boundaries help preserve the integrity and professionalism of the session. In professional practice, these boundaries are essential to avoid misunderstandings or breaches of trust.

BUT!! Experience has shown me that there are moments when the general rule doesn't quite fit—when the receiver may genuinely need something different. So over time, I’ve come to adopt a pattern that honors both professionalism and human sensitivity.

First, it’s important to recognize two different kinds of touch:

1) Touch with erotic intent – This is when the client’s interest shifts toward the practitioner’s body, integrating it into fantasies or using it to spark arousal. Such touch is not welcome in tantric massage. Besides breaching the boundary of professional energy flow, it also pulls the client’s attention away from their own body. Since energy follows attention, this dilutes the healing effect of the massage. While it might feel pleasant in the moment, the session transforms from tantric into erotic—and that’s a completely different context.

2) Touch as human connection – Tantric massage can stir deep emotional states, vulnerability, and sensitivity. I’ve witnessed powerful men melt into the emotional state of a fragile child needing to be held in the presence of motherly, unconditional love. In such moments, it can feel completely natural to curl up in the practitioner’s lap (we wear underwear and a sarong), or to hold onto a knee for grounding.
    Other times, waves of pleasure may be so overwhelming that a person instinctively reaches out to hold a hand—seeking a sense of anchor. Or someone may be overtaken by emotion and simply need to feel they are not alone. A gentle touch, in these cases, helps regulate the nervous system.

So what pattern do I follow?
Touch me—but not on intimate areas—and only if your full attention remains rooted in your own body.

I fully align with the general and professional approach of not reciprocating touch in tantric massage. At the same time, I hold deep respect for our shared humanity. For me, non-erotic human touch, when guided by genuine need and presence, is welcome.

For everything to flow in harmony, we should all feel safe and comfortable. It’s important to respect one another’s boundaries and communicate them clearly. And if something spontaneous arises that crosses someone’s line, it can always be addressed with kindness and calm understanding.